Awesome

Normally I am not one to discuss my sports love on my webpage, but the past few nights were too much to leave out. First, my beloved Illini managed to defeat their hated rival, the Wisconsin Badgers, by the score of 75-65 in Madison on Tuesday night, ending the nation's longest home winning streak at 38. Awesome.

But last night was the kicker. Duke University, sporting one of the nation's toughest home venues, largest fan bases, and second-best ranking (behind Illinois) managed to lose on their home floor to unranked and struggling Maryland, 75-66. My favorite part was a sign one of the Duke students was holding up. It read simply:

I LEFT ILLINOIS FOR REAL BASKETBALL.

After the last two nights' events, I can safely say if you are leaving the Land of Lincoln to find real basketball, North Carolina was not the best state to go to. You should have gone to Michigan - site of the Illini's next two away games.

I am never going to Duke, because

REAL BASKETBALL IS IN CHAMPAIGN, ILLINOIS

Awesome.

The Great Travel List, Part III: Scandinavia, Eastern Europe, and Russia

The much anticipated third installation in the ongoing series!

• General Eastern Europe - Eastern Europe isn't nearly as popular as the Western half, which can be seen as good and bad. There is probably a reason its not as popular, but it is also less touristy. I want to see Hungary - where the Thracians once roamed - in addition to the supposedly beautiful beaches of Croatia. I feel a Polish visit is also in order since, as President Bush inadvertently pointed out, everyone forgets Poland. b
• Greece and the Aegean - I pretty much have plans to retire in the Greek Isles. Just find a nice one with not too many people and settle down. They are beautiful and relaxing, and in the middle of my favorite sea: the Aegean. Mainland Greece is no pushover either, the modern nation being the inheritor of one of the world's great ancient civilizations. A visit to the Turkey side of things may also be in order - since I want to see Ephesus and Halicarnassus.
• St. Petersburg, Russia (and maybe a side trip to Moscow) - St. Petersburg is supposedly one of Europe's best-kept secrets. Russian Imperial architecture is prevalent in the city, so a tour of the town should provide a great historical / cultural lesson. As should a visit to the Hermitage, one of the world's great museums. Moscos has that crazy St. Basil's Cathedral - gaudy, but cool nonetheless.
• Sweden - Is awesome! Nice and literate and liberal, its Shewaras favorite country. Interestingly, it is also a great golf-loving nation in addition to giving the world such fine creations as Volvos and IKEA.

Not much in this entry, but there will be next time when I cover the ENTIRE continent of Asia. Ooh.

United In Our Division

This is brilliant.

CNN recently commissioned a poll where they asked 1,007 Americans whether or not they thought President George W. Bush was "a uniter" or "a divider". 49% thought he was a uniter, 49% thought he was a divider, and 2% had no opinion. Now let's think about this for just a bit. This poll makes NO SENSE. Clearly, the nation is divided exactly in half - 49 to 49 with 2 undecided. Curiously, it is necessary for a large amount of people for think he is a uniter; because if they didn't, the people who think he is a divider would have no basis for thinking so. Conversely, the people who think he is a uniter can't possibly be right, since 49% of people feel the nation is divided - meaning the nation is in fact divided. But, knowing that the nation really is divided, 100% of people can't respond "He's a divider" because then the nation wouldn't be divided anymore - it would be totally united in its division. The only possible response that would make any sense was if 100% of people thought he was a uniter. However, a poll would never be commissioned that would yield such a result since that country would be known as "a dictatorship".

Some Words On Modern Art

Being an art historian means you are held responsible for knowing about geographic regions and periods of art. Since I pretty much have most of the world and most of time covered, this semester I am taking a class covering the only area in which I am completely unexperienced: modern "Western" art, since 1940. Modern art inspires a lot of different opinions and ideas among different people, so I thought I would share my views.

To me, art does one of two things: either it makes you think, or it sits there being pretty. Art is beautiful or thought-provoking or both; but most modern art is neither. Almost all of post-1940 artworks and artists are concerned with asking the question "What is art?" in the widest variety of ways possible.

And here inlies the problem. Art can, and often should, make a point. It should engage the viewer in such a way as to make him or her think about their surroundings, their worldview, or their culture. Much of art does this, quite successfully I might add. I do not even have a problem with artists asking the question of what art is. Where the problem arises is when every new artist, regardless of educational background or training, constantly produces an incredibly wide range of works that ALL question the definition of "art". Ultimately, the definition of art is up to the viewer. Most of the modern artists are creating works that most people would not consider worthy of the designation "art"; and indeed, the National Endowment for the Arts has come under intense government scrutiny recently for subsidzing artists that some feel do not produce real "art". I have no problem with the NEA, because it is not up to me (or the government for that matter) to stop the production of art simply because I do not like it or find it objectionable. To do so would be breaking our free speech laws, laws which I will fight to the death to defend.

But just because I support modern art's production does not mean I like it. "Art" as we know it is generally considered to be a "Western" construct. Most African societies, for example, do not differentiate between a mask and the dance performance associated with it; thus they have no conception of "art" as we define it. If we then look at art through our "Western" eyes, we see a long history of painting, sculpture, and other works, created primarily for the social elite, which served an aesthetic purpose in society. Gradually, artists began questioning this purely aesthetic purpose, and art began to be used to discuss issues of social or cultural importance. But recently, especially in the late 20th century, art no longer accomplishes anything. Pieces of art like these do nothing to inspire the viewer, they only shock. Modern art questions what "art" is by producing works that are intended to shock you, but at the same time confuse you because their presence in a museum or guarded setting means that they must be "art". This is how modern artists question "art", and it is precisely this never-ending line of questioning that is destroying art as we know it.

The humanity is gone. Art, as human construction, as one of the few achievements in human history that is unique to our species, is being destroyed. The pieces made today do not engage the viewer, for they do quite the opposite: modern art alienates the viewer, intellectually and aesthetically. The feelings that modern art inspires in a human are the exact same feelings an animal would get: no feeling at all. The pieces of art that are made to be shocking or disgusting do just that: shock and disgust, while most other pieces are so absent of form, color, and innovation that viewers are simply not inspired. The very thing that makes art a human creation: the power to inspire, to engage, to convey; is being lost - and that is the greatest tragedy of all.

And perhaps my reaction to modern art movements are exactly what the artists wanted. If so, then I hope they are all very happy. They have selfishly and egotistically crowned themselves as some of the greatest innovators, geniuses, and visionaries the art world has ever known while at the same time destroying everything that makes art the beuatiful human creation that it is. Congratulations.

The Great Travel List, Part II: Western Europe

Europe has far too many sites to see to simply confine them all to one post. I am doing Western Europe today, and tomorrow I will post Eastern Europe and Russia together. So here we go:

• A scenic drive through Britain, London, and the Isle of Man - London = awesome. 'Nuff said. Britain is a beautiful island with nice pretty landscapes, so we feel like a nice scenic driving tour, maybe up through Scotland, would be most excellent. The Isle of Man is located in the Irish Sea in between Britain and Ireland, and it simply has the greatest name of any island ever. The Isle also produces fascinating coins - I suggest you take a look.
• France - Paris and the Mediterranean Coast - We have both visited Paris once before, but I was only there for one short day. It wasn't even enough time to get through the Louvre, much less the entire city. We both agreed we need to head back to the City of Lights and explore it in its entirety, including the non-touristy areas. The Mediterranean Coast, including Monaco, is also an essential - the beautiful coastlines and great food can't be beat, plus there are chateaux down there to explore.
• Germanic Nations - Austria, Germany, and Switzerland - So much to see! People, places, museums, food, where to start. I am especially curious to see Ludwig II's crazy castles in Bavaria. Austria is beautiful and Vienna is quite underrated, while the Swiss have constantly amazed me by inhabiting one of the world's harshest climates and creating an incredibly prosperous economy. Maybe we will learn to ski when we go - I can already kind of ski, I just don't know how to stop.
• Iceland - Oh sure, you laugh now, but Iceland is one of the world's most underrated toursit destinations. The island has far more green than ice (whereas Greenland has far more ice than green) and the great landscapes, fjords, and natural volcanic activity create great vistas that most European travelers would never think of. Look at the pictures - you'll thank me when you book your ticket to Reykjavik.
• Italy and Environs - Shewara and I are both Italian, and as such we love Italian culture, food, and language. I went to Rome way back in 1997 and she has never been, so we both need to return to our ancestral homeland and do a very extensive food/culture tour. Additionally, some of the Italian islands might be worthwhile to visit; especially Sicily, since we both think their language is fascinating (It's related to North African dialects, and not related to Italian that much if at all).
• The Netherlands and Belgium - One of our favorite European countries, the Netherlands has friendly people, great food, a brilliantly-run government, and relatively underrated attractions when compared to tourist powerhouses like France and Italy. We have considered living there, not just visiting. How can you argue against a country whose seat of government is in a city called The Hague? Their neightbor to the south, Belgium has awesome chocolate, in addition to the Royal Museum of Central Africa in Tervuren, a place I have wanted to visit for some time.
• Spain and its Islands - Spain is another one of those nations with a fascinating cultural history. Its many regions all have their own distinct languages and cultures; from Catalunya and its capital of Barcelona in the northeast, to Arab-influenced Andalucia in the south, to the Basque Country in the north, near France (the Basques have their own language which is completely unrelated to any Indo-European dialect. Awesome!). Additionally, tourist countries' islands tend to go underappreciated, so we feel like we should appease the Canary Islanders and give them a visit.

Next time on the Great Travel List: Eastern Europe and Russia!

Political Wisdom: Courtesy of Dave Barry

". . . As Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us? Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying roadkill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts?"

-Dave Barry, The States We're In (01.09.2005)

The Great Travel List, Part I: The Americas

Shewara and I love to travel, probably due to our seemingly unending curiosity about the world and all cultures therein. As such, we made a list of all of the places we wish to see before we die. And as a token of gratitude to my loyal readers, I will shower you with the benefits of our wisdom by revealing our list, in selected parts, over the next few days. We begin with the Americas:

UNITED STATES

• American South / Alabama - It seems that this area is avoided by many people in other parts of the United States, but we both are curious to see how the culture there differs from the culture in the rest of the nation. We think Alabama would be the best representative state.
• American Southwest - Another tour of a beautiful landscape, only this time it comes with more beautiful art. Apache, Navajo, and Hopi peoples have one of the greatest artistic traditions in the United States, and I really want to see examples (both ancient and modern) firsthand.
• Hawai'ian Islands - It is technically not part of North America, but it counts as the United States anyway. Shewara has visited the islands many a time, and is apparently also a skilled hula dancer. I have never been to Hawai'i, but I am anxious to see the beautiful landscapes and fascinating interaction of American, Japanese, and Pacific Island traditions.
• New England / Boston (preferably in Autumn) - Neither of us have ever been to Boston, but we hear it is beautiful in the the fall months. October perhaps? On the cultural side, it seems like it could be an interesting and stark juxtaposition to our Alabama trip.
• Pacific Northwest / Seattle / Vancouver - We both think the art of the Pacific Northwest peoples is gorgeous, especially Totem poles and the surprisingly abstracted and yet naturalistic animal forms. Plus, the scenery is breathtaking.
• San Francisco, CA - Every person I speak to who visited San Francisco has nothing but words of praise for the Bay Area; as such, we took it upon ourselves to find out what all the fuss is about. The architecture is supposedly beautiful, the scenery wonderful, and the cultural activities abound.
• Wyoming - this one is more for me. Colorado gets all the press, but Wyoming is far less crowded and open to visitors. It is the best place to see the Rocky Mountains in all their glory.

NORTH AMERICA OUTSIDE THE UNITED STATES

• Toronto and Montreal, Canada - I visited Toronto once when I was little, and neither of us have been to Montreal. Canada always gets a bad rap in the United States, but its people are friendly and accepting, and the cities are safe and clean. Going to Quebec will give us a chance to brush up on our French skills, and I keep hearing wonder-stories about the bagels in Montreal. All the more reason to go.
• Cuba (post-Castro) - We want to see Cuba both for its fascinating blend of Caribbean, African, and Spanish influences, but we feel that it is too much of a hassle as long as Castro's communist government is still in power. We will wait for a better governmental system to come along, and then its off to one of the Caribbean's most exciting and culturally eclectic destinations.
• "Non-touristy" Mexico (Oaxaca?) - Parts of Mexico have become havens for tourists, especially young spring-breakers from the US. We feel like visiting a nicer, less crowded, and more "original" part of the country. We both love Spanish colonial architecture, especially church plazas, and a visit outside of a place like Cancun or Acapulco will give us a better chance to soak it all in. Oaxaca state is my top choice, simply because the name is awesome.
• Belize - Maya ruins abound, few tourists visit, and English is the official language. It is like going to Central America and getting all of the good things and almost none of the bad.

SOUTH AMERICA

• Argentina - South America's most fascinating country (along with Brazil) contains an interestingly large Italian population, a strange group of Welsh-speaking communities, and some of the finest beef in the world. In the south, the region of Patagonia is quite possibly Earth's most daunting and dangerously beautiful landscape outside of Antarctica. A fascinating and diverse country with a unique blend of cultures all its own, Argentina will probably be our first South American stop.
• Brazil - I love African diaspora culture, and where better find it than country with more people of African descent than any nation outside of Africa. We will probably hit the more touristy spots like Rio and Sao Paulo, but some day trips outside of the large cities would be nice as well. I have also heard stories about the near lack of importance Brazilians place on skin color when choosing a partner; hence, Brazil has become known as a "Mendelian Wonderland" for the amazing variability of phsyical traits (eye/skin/hair color, etc.) among its population. I think we would both be interested in seeing this firsthand.

Next time on The Great Travel List: Europe!

Big Ups To Big Mammals

Everyone loves dinosaurs. Everyone knows about dinosaurs. Yet many people I talk to seem to think that dinosaurs were the only animals that ever existed on Earth before humans came around. So not true! Some of my favorite animals were the huge mammals that lumbered around most of the world up until the great extinction during the last Ice Age. They are just as big and fun as dinosaurs, plus they have lots of fur, which makes them more huggable and loveable.

Better Than the Oscars: The Worst of 2004

At the end of each calendar year, I take it upon myself to inform the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences that they are, in fact, complete morons. How do I do this? I put out my annual rankings of the best and worst movies of the season! I rank the top five worst and best films, absent of cinematic or performance categories or country of origin. (Keep in mind I only rank movies that I actually saw.) So let's get started with the list of the five worst movies.

5. VAN HELSING
I don't think I would have hated this movie as much if one of my comrades hadn't insisted that it was a social dialogue on contemporary abortion practices. But he did. Additionally, the acting was terrible, the storyline was full of gaping holes, and someone needs to explain to me why the heroine needs to show her cleavage the entire time,despite the fact that it is ten degrees outside. I shouldn't be surprised, but this overly-typical Hollywood crap-action film has to make the list.

4. TROY
This was nothing less than a complete butchering of one of the finest literary works of all time - Homer's Iliad. As the movie went on it deviated more and more from Homer's original story, and finally after three hours of horribly painful anguish that only an Iliad-lover could experience, I found myself viewing a film that bore far more resemblance to the final scenes of Little Nicky than the Iliad. It is almost like the filmmakers read the Iliad, but gradually stopped paying attention and gave up reading 3/4 of the way through the book. If you are gonna make a movie about it, READ IT!!

3. ALEXANDER
I am a huge Alexander the Great fan, and this film's historical accuracies are the only thing that saved it from being number one. The story devoted huge sequences to rather unimportant parts of Alexander's life, and the important parts that were included had no context or background to them. Also, I am usually not a music aficionado, but Alexander's music had to be the most consitently inappropriate in the history of film. I would say watch the movie so you can see/hear what I mean, but I don't want to be held accountable for driving you to suicide.

2. SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW

Movie rundown:

• The World of Tomorrow? 1930.
• Big giant robots attack Earth.
• Helpless, stereotypical female reports on story.
• "Save me, Sky Captain!"
• Sky Captain's mercenary air force comes to the rescue. They are located ten miles from New York City - why the US government would allow them there is beyond me.
• Why are robots here? I don't know, but let's go to Tibet to find out!
• Angelina Jolie can fly a plane, despite the fact that she has one eye and hence no depth perception. For her next trick, she will also fly an airplane underwater.
• And while we're out, let's go to fifty thousand other pointless destinations. Ohh and I know, let's discover dinosaurs!
• Save me, Sky Captain!
• Oh no! A big giant rocket filled with cows is going to be shot into space! Let's go inside the rocket, magically learn to read German, and push the abort button! (I shouldn't have to point out that such a button is pointless since cows cannot work buttons. Maybe the villains knew they needed an abort button so Sky Captain could ruin their plans.)
• You saved me, Sky Captain!
  
• GAG!
  

1. THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

This film did a horrible disservice to one of the world's great religions. Its two hours of endless brutal violence did nothing more than to force the viewer to feel sorry for the main figure, Jesus Christ. The movie provides absolutely no background of who Jesus was, what he taught, or the religion that came out of his teachings. You could have put any figure - even someone as unsympathetic as Stalin or Hitler - in Jesus' position and still felt sorry for them. The violence was completely over the top in no way representative of what Jesus wouold have actually gone through. The entire movie was a shock factor, trying to force the viewer to understand what this nameless figure went through for "all of humanity" - a humanity that is only 20% Christian. It attempts to guilt-trip you into accepting Christianity out of sympathy for Christ's pain, rather than presenting you with Jesus' teachings and asking you to accept them for legitimate reasons. Shame on you, Mel Gibson.

The Best of 2004

5. GARDEN STATE
Intelligently written, oddly endearing dark comedy about two chance lovers in New Jersey. he entire film is fresh, original, and humorously random without being weird. It would be placed higher on the list if not for the depressingly predictable and stereotypical ending - your classic airport love scene. In the last ten minutes, the movie abandons what makes it great - its fresh and funny writing - for a typical Hollywood romance. Still a great film, Zach Braff should make more.

4. HERO
I have been gaining more and more appreciation for East Asian, specifically Chinese, cinema lately, and Hero is probably my favorite film in recent memory. The storyline is beautifully intricate and complex: the entire film is essentially a dialogue between two characters, each of whom is constantly re-telling the same story - only in the end is the true version revealed. But the film's greatest success is it visual triumph: with each new version of the story, the entire color scheme of the shots changes. In the first version, everyone is wearing red; then yellow, then blue, and so on and so forth. The viewer becomes visually overwhelemed while being engrossed in the story without ever knowing it. Simply brilliant.

3. HOTEL RWANDA
Everyone knows about the Holocaust - millions of innocent people killed for no reason by the orders of an evil dictator. But almost no one is aware of the continuing ethnic conflict between the Hutus and the Tutsis of the small central African nation of Rwanda, and this film depcits that conflict far better than Schindler's List shows the Holocaust. (Yes, you heard me right.) Don Cheadle is brilliant in one of his rare serious roles. The movie is so saddening and enraging in its unrelenting depiction and telling of the truth that it seemed to have been forced to insert random comic relief lines to keep viewers sane. Virtually all the people involved in this conflict still have nightmares about it, and seeing Hotel Rwanda will give you just a glimpse of what it must have been like. See it once, never wish to see it again, and find yourself telling everyone else to see it.

2. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
Great performances all around, a great story, and original writing highlight the best love story in recent years. It depicts love how it really is - full of pain, tragedy, triumph, and most of all, relaity. The characters aren't beautiful models who have great sex constantly; they are real people with believable lives. In the end, despite all of their differences, they find themselves drawn together because what they have supercedes their interests, desires, and even their own lives. If you are having trouble in a relationship, go see this movie with your significant other, and suddenly you will realize that you are the most perfect couple there has ever been.

1. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
The most original movie in a long time, Napoleon Dynamite is one of those movies whose every scene, every line, is endlessly watchable and repeatable to all of your friends. The characters are so perfectly written and cast that what should have been a totally awkward group of weirdos became a perfectly believeable representative group of a small Idaho town. As they say in the DVD extras, anyone who watches the film cannot help but find themselves identifying with one or more of the characters, for whatever reason. Each character fills a perfectly form-fitting hole in the story. There is no sex, no foul language, no violence in the whole film, and yet this PG-rated masterpiece of comic genius still made it to the top spot of my rankings. Vote for Pedro.