Totally NOT "Awesome!"

There's a store in a small strip mall by my house that has a rather intriguing name: "AWESOME!: A Shopping Adventure." Now knowing me like you probably do, you know that I am always about adventures and awesomeness. The shoppng not so much, but I felt an awesome shopping adventure would be totally cool. So being bored yesterday, I decided to make a short drive and see what they had to offer.

Which turned out to be crap. Crap! The store was divided into three sections. The first consisted entirely of basic Halloween decorations (which I assume get phased out and replaced with other holiday decor around Thanksgiving and Christmas and whatnot). It was also populated by soccer moms and tiny ankle-biters who tried to attack me. Being frightened both of the small children and the ghoulish displays, I made my way to the left side of the store which was even more frightening. It was full of gifts for old people! Ya know, those t-shirts that say corny things like "Certified Old Person: Been There, Done That" or some such. Walking canes with weird accessories, Old people cards, pillows, little figurines, etc. Scary. I left.

And went to the other side of the store. Which was full of lovey-dovey gifts AND gifts for 30-year old frat boys who never left college. The "I wuv U" bears with lace right next to the "Give me another beer, woman!" t-shirts complete with printed-on fake booze stains. Brilliant.

So then, very depressed that I wasted upwards of 27 cents in gas to come to this totally not awesome and not shopptastic unadventure, I left the store and went to Trader Joe's. They had white cheddar cheese and chai tea, both of which made me happy. And all was right with the world once again.