The Following Conversation Actually Took Place:

[I approach the ATA ticket counter at Chicago Midway Airport, 1 1/2 hours before my scheduled flight time.]

Me: "Hi."
Ticket Lady: "Hello. Welcome to ATA."
"Thanks, pleasure to be here." I lie. ATA sucks, but they are cheap. Details follow.
"Where will you be flying today?"
"Boston."
[She checks her little computer thing, and promptly states:] "We don't fly to Boston."
"Hmm. That is quite interesting, considering I have a ticket to go to Boston today."
"We haven't flown to Boston for three weeks."
"I bought my ticket more than three weeks ago."
"Well, it says here that we tried to get in touch with you, but couldn't."
"You couldn't get in touch with me? I am notoriously easy to get in touch with. I have three email addresses, two phone numbers, two adresses, and my own personal messenger pigeon service."
"We couldn't get in touch with you."
"I see that."
"Well, what we can do is put you on a United Airlines flight that leaves at 9:20."
"Oh OK." This is good, only one hour later than my original flight.
"It leaves from O'Hare."
"I see." WHAT??? O'Hare is like forty miles from here. I'd have to take a cab in the morning commute traffic.
"You'll have to take a cab and hope the morning commute traffic doesn't act up. So here is a voucher for the cab. Thanks for flying ATA!"
"Oh thank you! You've been such a help." And as I recall I am not flying ATA. Now I am flying United. Because they actually fly to Boston, or at least they say they do.